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5 Ways to Get Unstuck from the Quicksand of Life

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Do you feel like you’re not just stuck but being sucked down?

As busy adults, we’re often involved in a variety of projects at home and work. Our To-Do list ranges from simple tasks like paying bills to more difficult ones, such as replacing the ceiling fan.  If you’re like many entrepreneurs, you enjoy the satisfaction of managing these tasks on your own. After all, how difficult can it be to buy and replace a ceiling fan?

Well, as you probably know from experience, some of those ten minute easy To-Do tasks can take ten hours.  That’s ten hours away from your business and family. Why do we reach a point where we feel the world is sucking us in?

Often it’s fear that holds us back. We’re afraid of letting go of a task or commitment in order to work on something else. Yes, we could get to that ceiling fan, but it means juggling our schedule. We know how to bill a client, but that also means taking time away from business or family.  It’s often easier to put off a task than to take the time to figure out how to complete the task.

How to Lift Yourself Out of Quicksand

  • First, write down all your strengths. And I say all, because I know there are many. Our strengths often come so naturally that we don’t recognize them as strengths. If you excel at making contacts for your business, write it down. Maybe your office is extremely organized or you love keeping updated with the latest online marketing. Write it down. Take a good look at your list. Notice how your life and business are better because you have these strengths.
  • Now, write down what feels heavy on your mind. Take a few minutes to jot down the tasks that are pulling you down. Is it bookkeeping? Returning sales calls? Keeping up with networking?
  • Next to each item, jot down the aspects that are pulling you down. Is it that the tasks are tedious and time consuming? Is it that you hate doing the math work involved in the project? Do you get anxious doing the task, such as taxes? Are you worried your spouse will complain about you being away from the family.
  • Now search for solutions. Often, there are people close by who can help pull you out of the sandpit. If you’re involved in a networking group, use services offered from other group members. You can also search for referrals from friends and neighbors. You might find a bookkeeper’s not as expensive as you thought. You might meet a contractor who can replace that ceiling fan in less than an hour. A coach or an informative webinar can also help you maneuver around your obstacles so you can move forward.
  • Finally, bring those people and resources into your world. Allowing others to use their strengths to help you is like having a rope thrown to you to keep you from not only sinking, but possibly avoiding quicksand altogether.

By combining your strengths with those of others, you’ll be amazed how quickly you can pull yourself out of quicksand and return to moving forward on solid ground.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE?
Great! Just include this entire blurb along with it:
Paige Ritchie is an Advocate and Mentor to Women and Men who are Embracing the Possibilities of their Lives. She helps people find the courage and confidence to clarify ambitions and accelerate personal growth through personal life coaching, tele-group coaching and life coaching workshops and retreats. She lives in North Carolina and works with people, nationally. If you are ready to “Embrace the Possibilities” of your life, you can contact Paige at https://paigeritchie.com.

What Were You Wearing?

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Ever so often we pause to look ahead, plan for the next few months or year to come and begin setting things in motion to make our goals our reality.  Ever since I was a little girl I have always loved looking ahead and setting my sights on exhilarating adventures for the future. It was always refreshing to let go of the old and embrace the possibilities of something new.

Today though, is different.  As I sit here at the end of one year and the beginning of another in my comfy oversized sweater, favorite jeans, and fuzzy socks, with my computer in my lap, having carved out “me time” from the family, I find myself not at all focused on the possibilities of a new year. Instead my thoughts are on the past year , the toughest year of my life.

In the spring my husband and I decided to put our house on the market and move our whole family (2 kids and a golden retriever) back to my home state of North Carolina. Then, just three weeks after our house went on the market, I was diagnosed with an extremely rare and potentially life-threatening adrenal tumor. At that moment many things in my life came to a screeching halt. I, now, needed to focus my energy and attention on my health. Except for my current coaching clients, I knew I would need to take a step back from my professional work while I addressed this daunting, personal obstacle.

That was hard for me as I thoroughly enjoy being connected to the coaching world and I had several projects I was passionately and intensely working on. Yet, in a matter of weeks I was in my red pajamas at Mass General Hospital preparing for surgery that only a handful of surgeons are trained to perform.  And as if that wasn’t enough, our house went under contract during all this and we had no idea where we were moving.

My surgery went very well and for two weeks into my recovery all was going smoothly. I was returning to my normal self.   Then one week before moving to N.C. my doctor notified me that a test came back that was very “concerning.” Eight more tests were needed and I wouldn’t get the results for 2 months.

Okay, I’ll just say, up to that point, with the amazing support of my family and friends and some serious positive psychology “self talk,” I had been a rock star in dealing with everything that had come my way.  However, after hearing “concerning” and my potential prognosis, in about 2 seconds I went from wearing my rock star pants to being enveloped in a cocoon of both fear and sadness, thinking of how to prepare my children for a life without their mom.

A week later and the last morning in our now-empty house, we were frantically cleaning. My favorite shorts and tank top were covered in dirt and sweat. We had about 20 minutes before meeting the buyers — a young, “showered,” professionally-dressed couple — the realtors and the closing attorneys to sign the papers. Yet, right before we walked out of our house for the last time, instead of freshening up and changing our clothes, my husband and I and our 2 kids walked through each room, holding hands and sharing memories of the past 7 years.  Slowing down to reflect on our past before we stepped out of the door into our highly unknown future allowed us to package those 7 years of our life, the good and the bad, and take them with us with acknowledgement of what we have experienced and appreciation for being at the point we were that day.

After 2 months emotionally snuggled up in my cocoon, helping my kids adjust to a new life in North Carolina, absorbing every moment I had with them and my husband, and with fear pulsating through my body of not seeing my kids grow up, I had finally gotten to a place that I knew my family would be strong enough to thrive without me.

And then I got the call with the best news possible. More in depth testing indicated that I am in the clear. I could finally be that person I was at the beginning of 2013.  I could finally put my rock star pants back on!

But it was hard to find them.

It took awhile to totally absorb and recover from those long months of physical ailments, rollercoaster emotions, making tough decisions, and being a mother when I was feeling more like a child. With each new day, I started to see glimpses of my old self bubble back up.  I could think of the future beyond the next few months.  I could hear myself laugh again. But strangely, I continued to really need the things in my life that made me feel secure, cozy and comfortable like refreshing walks on the beach, snuggling with my kids, hugs from my husband, more baths than I could count, long talks with family and friends and of course my  favorite pair of jeans, baggy sweater and fuzzy socks.

This year, unlike any other year, I have spent a lot of time thinking back on 2013. How I started off strong, how I was reaching my personal, business and health goals, how everything stopped dead in its tracks, how weak and vulnerable I felt at times, how fearful I felt for my future and the future of my family, how hard it was at times to keep my head up, and how I learned that I could handle the worst year of my life.

Before opening the door and stepping into your future, take some time to reflect back on your past year. Allow yourself to acknowledge your strength in making tough decisions in difficult situations, your courage in standing up for what you believed in even though you felt alone, your compassion in hugging yourself when you needed hugs, your sense of humor in laughing at yourself when you tripped, your bravery in stepping into the unknown even though you were scared, your humbleness in allowing yourself to lean on your family and friends when you needed support, and your perseverance in continuing to push forward in what it is that makes your life worth living.  Whether things have gone the way you planned or not, think about what it took for you to make it to this day.

And suddenly we realize, through it all, our rock star pants were on the entire time.

New Adventures, here we come!

Paige

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE?
Great! Just include this entire blurb along with it:
Paige Ritchie is an Advocate and Mentor to Women and Men who are Embracing the Possibilities of their Lives. She helps people find the courage and confidence to clarify ambitions and accelerate personal growth through individual business coaching, life coaching, tele-group coaching, workshops and retreats. She lives in North Carolina and works with people, nationally. If you are ready to “Embrace the Possibilities” of your life, you can contact Paige at https://paigeritchie.com.

Happy New Year!

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Have you made your New Year’s Resolutions yet? Are you entering the new year feeling refreshed and charged for a new beginning or are you rolling in like me feeling a bit frazzled and already 3 steps behind?

On New Year’s Day my 8 year old daughter came up to me and said, “Mom, I need to make my New Year’s Resolutions….let’s see…what am I not good at?”

So often we approach the New Year from a place of deficits. We set ourselves up from the start to fall short of our goals and intentions because of our mindset. Working from this place sets us up for failure, unable to maintain our intentions.

Out with the old! In with the new way of thinking! Here are a few quick steps to get you on the right track for success for 2013.

Grab a piece of paper and pen and quickly jot down your thoughts:

1. List 5 of your strengths. If your get stumped ask a loved one or friend what your strengths are and then choose to put them on your list or not.

2. List 3-5 things that are important to you. What do you value in your life?

3. Next, ask yourself, “What would you have needed to do and/or experienced in your life in order to have no regrets on your deathbed?”

4. Without hesitation, list everything that pops up.

5. Lastly, choose from your list in #4 to answer this question: “This year, what do I want to do and who do I want to be?”

Enjoy making 2013 happen!

Your personal advocate,

Paige

 

5 Steps to Embracing the Holidays

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Can you believe it? The fall holidays barrel out of nowhere and just about run us down, don’t they?
We still have Halloween candy in the cupboard and some leftover ghost decorations continue to float around the house.
And lookout — all of a sudden it’s Thanksgiving, and then before we know it — Christmas!
So how can you make the holiday season enjoyable and not a whirlwind of panic?

Try my simple yet powerful 5 steps to Embracing the Holiday Season:

1) Set Your Intention

Take the time to determine what you want — not what you should be doing.
Imagine what you want this time of year to be like.
How do you want to feel?
How do you want things to look?
What do you want to experience?
Do you want to have quality time with family?
Are you looking for a change in traditions?
Do you want to continue your momentum at work but have time to enjoy the holiday festivities?
Get a vivid image in your mind of your intention for this year’s season.

2) Map It Out

Once you have set your intentions, map out your season. Prepare ahead of time what you want to do to make the holidays enjoyable week-by-week.
Make a list of all that needs to be done.
Look at your work and home calendars to get a realistic idea of what is on your agenda.
This is a good time to take deep breaths and have a nice warm mug of tea or else you may begin feeling a bit anxious! If so, definitely go to the next step.

3) Let it go

Yep! You heard it. Let go of anything that does not connect with your intention. Let go of any of the “shoulds.”
Yes, you do not have to volunteer for every holiday activity at your child’s school.
Yes, you can buy a side dish to bring to Aunt Bettie’s instead of whipping something up in a fit of hysteria.
Yes, you can politely regret an invitation to your co-workers’ holiday party choosing to spend the time with your family to decorate the tree.
Ah…I’m feeling better already.

4) Do today what you could put off until tomorrow

When you embrace your intentions for the holidays and look at your map do what needs to be done early.
Knowing that you are setting yourself up for success as Hanukah and Christmas approaches, do it now.
Schedule it in.
Get it done early.
I learned this 8 years ago when my first child, Kyla, was due just after Christmas. That year I got all of my shopping done before Thanksgiving just in case she decided to arrive early (which she didn’t). I had the most enjoyable holiday season living at my own pace because I set my intention, made my map and got it done early. Even though every year since I haven’t completed my shopping by Thanksgiving doing things early has still been a motivator. Aim to get most of the busy work done early this year so that the weeks approaching the holidays are much more enjoyable.

5) Write in a Gratitude Journal each night

In all of the chaos of the holidays we often forget that we are actually choosing to participate in the season. Each night during the holidays, write down at least 3 to 5 things that you are grateful for that day. This helps you not only recognize the good that is in your day, but also helps you take the time to embrace the choices you are making and the gifts that often go unnoticed.
Just this simple act will help raise your happiness and contentment.

Hope you have a happy and joyous (and peaceful) Holiday Season!

Paige